I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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