My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
