thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
