..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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