I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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