wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
