were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize