You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize