Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
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