mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
worst night to have a conscience
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
