I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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