I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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