He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
