Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Randomize
