The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize