It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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