I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
