we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
