Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
