guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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