Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I think a kid would responsible me up
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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