Kiss
Puke
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
