Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
