Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
