Where is the hickey?
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
