In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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