If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
