She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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