I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
