I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
