i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize