That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Randomize
