i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
