yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
