Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
