I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
