Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I need to sanitize my soul.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Randomize
