On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
