dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
