Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I need water and some morals
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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