I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
ttyl tear gas
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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