I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize