They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
