girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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