We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
We don't watch enough power rangers
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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