areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
