We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
