Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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