alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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