he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Randomize
