I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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