so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
