What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize