Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
