I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
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