Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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