Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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