i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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