Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
